I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
