yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize