is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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