Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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