did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
