she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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