Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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