I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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