Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
