last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
My ass is underappreciated
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
