So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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