my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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