He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
