you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
