what day is it and did you see me today?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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