The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
