im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
