So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I haven't been this sober since birth.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm sobbing to NWA
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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