You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
