I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
