I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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