Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize