oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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