I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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