There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
