I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize