IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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