Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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