Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
My Higher Power is John Stamos
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
