you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
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