As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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