Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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