Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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