Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
why is half of my head shaved?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
