DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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