She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize