You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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