we're blogging at a bar
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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