The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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