Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies