Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
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The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
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We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.