Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.

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(415): $4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date. http://tfl.nu/jzc8

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa

(281): View more from Texas

what did you steal

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.

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(832): We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa (281): what did you steal (832): frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list. http://tfl.nu/gckp

Replies (10) Good night (2070) Bad night (779)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them

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(508): just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them http://tfl.nu/j2g6

Replies (10) Good night (3843) Bad night (535) Order T-Shirt
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(740): View more from Ohio

no more hot dogs for you........

(1-740): View more from Ohio

fine no more vajj for you

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(740): no more hot dogs for you........ (1-740): fine no more vajj for you http://tfl.nu/8nwe

Replies (22) Good night (634) Bad night (2652) Order T-Shirt
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(936): View more from Texas

My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.

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(936): My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today. http://tfl.nu/sil6

Replies (10) Good night (10661) Bad night (562) Order T-Shirt
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.

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(401): okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly. http://tfl.nu/8lsw

Replies (20) Good night (4282) Bad night (1053) Order T-Shirt
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(305): View more from Florida

Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?

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(305): Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning? http://tfl.nu/gt8n

Replies (12) Good night (3419) Bad night (1607) Order T-Shirt
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(913): View more from Kansas

I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom

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(913): I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom http://tfl.nu/jxft

Replies (9) Good night (4209) Bad night (717) Order T-Shirt
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(505): View more from New Mexico

His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.

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(505): His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left. http://tfl.nu/dyjo

Replies (6) Good night (2766) Bad night (803)
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(815): View more from Illinois

Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.

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(815): Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants. http://tfl.nu/z0pn

Replies (4) Good night (1653) Bad night (818) Order T-Shirt
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(317): View more from Indiana

Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.

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(317): Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina. http://tfl.nu/djvg

Replies (7) Good night (2592) Bad night (522) Order T-Shirt
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(936): View more from Texas

You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.

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(936): You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me. http://tfl.nu/du0t

Replies (13) Good night (3639) Bad night (650) Order T-Shirt
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(703): View more from Virginia

just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.

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(703): just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail. http://tfl.nu/7539

Replies (6) Good night (1659) Bad night (560) Order T-Shirt
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(540): View more from Virginia

He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.

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(540): He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room. http://tfl.nu/7y89

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(330): View more from Ohio

I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.

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(330): I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes. http://tfl.nu/tcgc

Replies (1) Good night (175) Bad night (506)

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