She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.