everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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