I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
