umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
