she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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