Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
