She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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