whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
