...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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