Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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