i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
