sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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