so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
