I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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