I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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