I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
