Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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