well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
