i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
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